Having a personal life

Lots of us have a bad habit of wearing our hearts on our sleeves. This can make us an open book even to strangers. We definitely don’t want that – mystery is the spice of life, after all.

It’s useful to have a basic list of certain personal information you should never share with public and people who don’t deserve it “ Once you expose your private life, if you give one little bit, the floodgates are open and everyone got a free range for you.”     Jason Statham. Keeping a clear distinction between your personal lives is a skill to master. I have been so much observant on my personal life. I thought of sharing with you what I have learnt that you should  keep to yourself, no matter how strong the urge to share them with everyone.

Your increase

We all increase in various areas of our lives; we get new jobs, new cars, new homes, newborn babies, new degrees etc etc. Do not be a show off, indirectly or directly. Do not try to impress your friends by telling them how much money, wealth, health or blessings you have. For everything you have is from God, and He can take it away from you the same way He gave it to you.

Most of us on Facebook might slip a photo of our cars, our gym set, our beautiful children, our new homes and might not think much of it. But just know that it could be destructive to others that might be influenced by what you have and try to keep up even though they can't afford to.

If God has given you wealth say "Thank you God", if God has given you poverty again say “Thank you God"... whatever God wills, there is no power, there is no might, except with God. Jeremiah 9:23  “Let not the wise man boast about his wisdom; Let not the mighty man boast about his mightiness; And let not the rich man boast about his riches.”

Your Pains And Hurts

Pain is inevitable. Suffering is optional. Maybe someone hurt you physically or emotionally. Maybe you’ve survived something else traumatic—a natural disaster, a fire, a terminal illness, depression due to a sudden loss of a loved one etc  and though you know you’ll eventually recover, you still feel pain that seems unbearable. Resist the temptation of letting the pain define you. Don’t share your pain with people who don’t deserve it. Some people will not feel the pain or the hurt with you! Though some of us have endured more serious situations, you really can’t quantify or compare emotional pain. Direct you pain to the only desired people or if you are a believer like me direct it to God our Almighty.  He never fails and will never fail you.

When you’re hurting some people might tell you to “let it go,” as if that’s a valid solution. They may say “it’s all in your head” and assume that reasons away the pain. But none of that will help you heal and find happiness from moment to moment.

Like everyone, I’ve been hurt, in both profound and trivial ways. I’ve had to acknowledge my feelings, process them, and then find ways to work through them so I could let go and move on. Here’s what helped me do just that; not letting the pain and hurts be my identity, focusing on the things that bring me joy in the moment and sharing my journey of healing with others in a benefiting way – this website.

Goals For The Future

You might find this unlikely, but there is actually science behind the fact that you’re much more likely to achieve your long-term goals if you don’t share them with others. When you tell others about your future aspirations, you almost feel as if the enjoyment of achieving the goal has been taken from you. As a result, you don’t work as hard towards it. If you keep your goals to yourself, however, you have a much higher chance of achieving them. And once you have done that, feel free to tell the whole world about it.

Enlightenment

Everyone seeks reprieve and enlightenment in different places. Some turn to religion, others turn to sports, others – to mindfulness and meditation. Whatever your choice is, don’t force it on anyone else. Because what’s sure to turn anyone away from your choice of enlightenment is any notion of preaching about how good it is and how nothing else will ever match up. Then you just turn into one of those people who shout on the streets about how their version of religion is the right one. How often do you listen to them? That’s what you’ll be if you start “preaching,” too.

Good Deeds

You may have heard that good deeds always attract good karma. That’s true, and you should never be discouraged from doing good – however, if you start bragging about it, it takes on a whole different perspective. Once you brag about something good that you’ve done, you’re making it all about yourself, thus invalidating the good that you’ve already created. Many of the greatest philanthropists in the world remain anonymous for a very good reason. When you do a charitable deed, you want the attention to be on the people or the cause that you’re helping and not on yourself.

Family Problems

Whether it’s your extended family or your blood relatives, keep the problems in the family. Don’t abuse people’s trust. You’ve been told those secrets because you are close to these people, but they haven’t allowed you to spread them around to everyone in your social circle. They confided in you, and breaking that confidence is the worst thing you could possibly do. Be respectful of other people’s secrets. In return, you can expect for them to treat you the same.


Past Resentments

We all have negative stories about our personal life to tell about people we don’t like. It’s always best to let go of these feelings and discuss them as little as you can in public. This is for you as much as for others, because negativity is exhausting. Not just to feel but also to listen to. People prefer communicating with positive conversation partners, those who have interesting insights to provide – not ones who gripe about some other people they don’t even know. Let go of whatever’s weighing you down. Try to focus on the present and you’ll find that more and more people will be keen to talk to you.

 

Final thought for the month

We like to think that everyone is interested in every aspect of our personal life, but unfortunately that’s rarely the case.  Learn the secret of having a personal life and the secret of having a personal life is not answering too many questions about it.