Let me drink my Father’s cup

After our sons departure it has was a journey of fear, bitterness, tears and hopelessness. But every day trusted in Jesus and God’s word which became our comfort.  Most of the time I wish this cup of suffering was taken away from us but Jesus himself begged God to take away the cup of pain that he was to undergo but finally he came to accept and partook it.

Mathew 26:36 – 45 “ then Jesus went with his disciples to a place called Getsemane, and he said to them “sit here while I go over there and pray” he took peter and the two sons of Zebedee along with him, and he began to be sorrowful and troubled.  Then he said to them” my soul is overwhelmed with sorrow to the point of death.  Stay here and keep watch with me.  Going a little father he fell with his face to the ground and prayed, “My father, if it is possible may this cup be taken from me.  Yet not as I will, but as you will” then he returned to his disciples and found them sleeping “could you men not keep watch with me for one hour?” he asked peter.  “Watch and pray so that you will not fall into temptation.  The spirit is willing, but the body is weak” He went away a second time and prayed, “my father, if it is not possible for this cup to be taken away unless I drink it, may your will be done.

God has his own ways of glorifying himself in our lives and since this has been his doing and it is not possible for this cup to be taken away unless we drink it, we have asked God “may your will be done.” He has since been so faithful and has shown as His wonderful ways of healing.

For those in the similar situation like us;

Call upon God in prayer, in the name of Jesus Christ.  It becomes almost impossible to pray and trust God any more when you are mourning.  But call to Jesus and let him send you the Holy Spirit who will regenerate you and make you into a new person. Slowly and surely God will restore your strength to pray once more. Keep asking God to end the bitterness and anger that you are having. Both prayer and the Holy Spirit will encourage you and give you the knowledge to increase your trust in God once more.  

Notice that God will be with you when you come across obstacles in your life that will be impossible to overcome, all by yourself.  People will surround you with all sort of comfort but the real comfort will come from God.  Allow him to comfort you and learn how to socialize with him.  Talk to him on anything and everything about the loss of your loved one.

Start the process of self-healing.No one in the world knows your feelings and hurts as well as you do.  Don’t ever think that anyone will share the pain especially when it’s a parent who has lost their loved ones.  The hurt feels for you and your partner. Because of this you are the one most qualified to have Self-compassion which is seeing your most tender wounds without judgment. Showing compassion to yourself is being willing to see / feel the reality of your pain without covering it up or trying to “fix” it. Don’t paint your pain with anything else apart from Gods word. Others can love us and show compassion toward us, and yes, this does help. It helps us learn to open and receive. However, the compassion that does the transformational healing comes from within us. At the core of every wound is a thought / belief that we are separate from God, from Love – a fear that we are unworthy of love. It is a belief that we have accepted about ourselves. And you are the only one who can change that belief for yourself by experiencing the absolute truth of your Loveliness. This is what self-compassion does for you. Fully accept whatever happened was God’s doing .Accept all the circumstances that happened. Mentally rehashing it all, wishing it hadn’t happened, hanging onto thoughts that it “shouldn’t” have happened, or resisting the fact that it did happen is a waste of your precious energy that could be focused toward your healing. The fact is that whatever happened happened. When we accept that we can move on and progress in our healing.

Remove your attention from the other person and open your inner awareness. Finally notice you are responsible for everything that you are feeling, thinking, saying or doing not the other person. Remove it from the outside world and the appearance of other people and bring your attention inside. Open your awareness. Your awareness is the perspective or “eyes” inside you who sees everything neutrally and non-judgmentally. Find the willingness to be at peace with yourself. As you let go of the movie of the outside world and other people, at least for now, focus on being just with you. The large crowd that gathered at your home will disappear slowly as time goes and you will be left alone. The earlier you start ending the drama of being with lot of sympathizers the faster you will heal. Invite and acknowledge all of your feelings, whatever they are – anger, sadness, fear, bitterness, self-defeat. Don’t judge any of it. It is simply energy moving through you. It is neither bad nor good. It is just energy. You are not wrong for having these feelings. They are the natural result of things that happened. Now, be a friend to Jesus and Holy Spirit. Always keep Jesus and Holy Spirit your closest friend.  Stop calling people and relatives and talking to them about how you are feeling, what should have or should not have happened.  Instead talk to Jesus and he will send you a helper – the Holy Spirit. Experience the compassionate friend who loves you unconditionally. It may take some patience to find this aspect of yourself, but I assure you, it is there. Keep your attention in your Heart, let go of thoughts and just observe. Gradually you’ll feel tenderness, light, and space as well as warmth.  Just imagine Jesus seated next to you and whispering “Hello my child. I’m here with you. I’m just going to be here with you as you feel this. I’m not going to leave you. I will stay with you as long as you want me to. We can feel these feelings together. You are not alone. I’m not here to try to fix or change you. I just want to be with you as you are. I love you as you are. I have no expectations of you. I’m just happy to be with you as your friend. You are very important to me and I love you very much.”

Let God control. The more control you surrender to God, the more under control your life becomes. Surrendering does mean you trust that God has given you the physical, emotional, and spiritual tools necessary to negotiate life. To surrender control to God releases the tension within that keeps you from responding to life with all your capacity. When you stop pushing and pulling to have things your way, you are more apt to see things God’s way.

Begin a study of the scriptures. At first it may be hard to believe the scriptures but keep on reading and in the little way God will send the Holy Spirit to help you understand.  He understands that you are not an expertise at this area but he is not interested in your ability but your availability to read the scripture and he will slowly talk to you in the language that you will understand. Begin renewing your mind, actions and thoughts to reflect the things you've studied (put on the new man, and all of the armor of God) as you are converted by God and are born again. These are the things that God has asked his children to do in order to serve him. God also knows that when one lives life the way He's prescribed for us, by obeying his commands, that person will be living life in the most abundant way possible. In his love, he has given you guidance to achieve this.

Cherish the moment: It won't matter what others think about you, what they say, or what you can and can't do. You will feel good about yourself because you will know how much Jesus Christ loves you. It is a feeling you won't get anywhere else.

Comforting thought for the day

Live for God, when it's all done. You are God's loved child, and as his child, you must rely fully on him for everything, including your process of healing. Remember that God is using your present circumstances to make you more useful for later roles in his unfolding story.

Our prayer for you today

God, you are big. We are so small. Yet you set Your love on us from the very beginning. Thank you for loving us. Thank you for allowing us to have a sacred relationship with you because of Jesus’ death and resurrection. Thank you that in spite of our imperfections, you saw something worth saving–all because of Love, and Grace. Our heavenly father let us love you more even in our darkest moments. For this we pray through the sacred name of our Lord Jesus Christ. Amen