Let’s turn our wounds into wisdom”.

We all have scars. Some are small and others more prominent. Some fade and are forgotten while others persist as vivid reminders of past trauma. Everyone makes a choice how to grow and move forward in the wake of their wounds. How you choose to cope with your scars affects your quality of life and the impact you have on the world.

There are different seasons in life, and each offers opportunities for transformation and positive change. The triumphs and trials we experience can empower us as individuals, and enable us to pay it forward. Some see scars as ugly or disfiguring. But believe it or not, scars can make your inner spirit soar and become a vital partner in helping you make a difference. They can be an inspiration and lead to a positive impact on your own life and the lives of those around you.

The moment we become aware of our imperfections from society’s viewpoint, those imperfections become scars.

Ironically, we can choose to make these imperfections our perfection. We can decide how we deal with the negative words or circumstances around us — whether to allow them to destroy or to empower us.

By sharing our stories, we just might have the opportunity to help heal the scar of one person out there — maybe even more. If we help one person heal from a scar, then what other amazing things are we capable of accomplishing?

I love and now live by Oprah’s words “Turn your wounds into wisdom”. I have some deep wounds but out of them come equally deep wisdom. It was Oprah Winfrey who said “Turn your wounds into wisdom.” I certainly have come to my own personal realisation that some of life’s best lessons are learned through our worst times.

Anyone who has faced big adversity in their life, and managed to overcome it, will have undoubtedly learned a lot from the experience. And there are a lot of other people who could benefit from the expertise they acquired.

In our lives it’s almost inevitable that we will face problems, challenges, and uncertainty. They bring you a deeper understanding and teach you so much if you’re prepared to look for the true meaning you can take from it.

It was Wayne Dyer who said “When you change the way you look at things, the way things look change.” Often the greatest setbacks in our life end up being the greatest blessing in disguise. Sometimes your biggest failure, sets you up for your greatest success.

My life changed the minute I asked myself 2 questions. They were:

What are these big adversities want to teach me? How can I help others do the same?

If I hadn’t asked myself these questions I wouldn’t now be a blogger, have written a course that changes lives and I believe God will give me a chance to live long to do more for His glory through my adversities. How better to live than enjoying helping others through sharing my knowledge and experience in this website? It certainly has turned my wounds into wisdom.

So even though it’s still tough for me to share my pain and weaknesses with the world, I do it because I know it will help others and in a great way helps me also in my healing process.

If we are going to allow ourselves to be the very best we can be, then we must move on from our deepest wounds, but not forget them. We need to use what they teach us to help other people deal with their similar problems and crises.

The question is whether we have the courage to transform our darkest times into something that can make a difference to the world.

I couldn’t have imagined the darkness of what I would go through in one year —but looking back I did learn so much, and can help others at in the way right of healing and to realize that not all pain is met for harm. If God trusts you with so much pain don’t put Him to shame by running away from Him; instead run towards Him.

Let go: Change is never easy – you fight to hold on and you fight to let go. But letting go is always the healthiest path forward. It clears out toxic attachments and thoughts from the past. You’ve got to emotionally free yourself from the things that once meant a lot to you, so you can move beyond the past and the pain it brings you. Again, it takes hard work to let go and refocus your thoughts, but it’s worth every bit of effort you can muster.

View every challenge as an educational assignment: Ask yourself:  “What is this situation meant to teach me?”  Every situation in our lives has a lesson to teach us.  Some of these lessons include:  To become stronger.  To communicate more clearly.  To trust your instincts.  To express your love.  To forgive.  To know when to let go.  To try something new, learn something new, and never look back.

Emotionally detach yourself: Emotionally detach yourself from your problems. You are a living, breathing human being who is infinitely more complex than all of your individual problems added up together. And that means you’re more powerful than them – you have the ability to change them, and to change the way you feel about them.

Ask yourself more positive questions: If you ask negative questions, you will get negative answers.  There are no positive answers to, “Why me?” “Why didn’t I?” “What if?” etc.  Would you allow someone else to ask you the demoralizing questions you sometimes ask yourself?  I doubt it.  So stop and swap them for questions that push you in a positive direction.  For instance, “What can I do right now to move forward?”

Make small adjustments as you figure out what works and what doesn’t: A big part of your life is a result of the choices you make.  If you don’t like some part of your life, then it is time to start making changes and better choices.  This change may not be easy, but it is possible.  Habits that keep us stuck in life are made in each moment, day by day.  Undoing these habits takes the same exact path.  Focus on the small things you can do right now, not the big things you can’t.  These small daily changes add up to huge results in the end. 

Keep putting one foot in front of the other: Winston S. Churchill once said, “If you are going through hell, keep going.”  In other words, never, never, never give in!  The brick walls in life are there for a reason.  They are not there to keep you out.  They are there to give you a chance to show how badly you want something.  Because the brick walls are there to stop the people who don’t want it as badly as you do.  They are there to stop the other people.

Keep calm and focus on the positive: The realist sees reality as concrete.  The OPTIMIST sees reality as clay.  Be the optimist and mold the clay your way.  Take what you’ve learned and build something new.  In other words, don’t see the difficulties in today’s opportunities, see the opportunities in today’s difficulties.  Write it on your heart that today is a chance of a lifetime.  And remember that there is always a reason to celebrate.  Celebrate every little thing, every chance you get. Slowing down long enough to celebrate the small victories creates momentum and inspiration to keep on keepin’ on.

Consciously nurture your inner hope: There’s a saying in Tibetan, “Tragedy should be utilized as a source of strength.”  No matter what sort of difficulties, or how painful an experience is, if you lose your hope, that’s your real tragedy.  So remember, a loss, a worry, an illness, a dream crushed – no matter how deep your hurt or how high your aspirations, do yourself a favor and pause at least once a day, place your hands over your heart and say aloud, “Hope lives here.”

Remind yourself that you are not alone: To lose sleep worrying about a friend.  To have trouble picking yourself up after someone lets you down.  To feel like less because someone didn’t love you enough to stay.  To be afraid to try something new for fear that you will fail.  None of this means you’re dysfunctional or crazy.  It just means you’re human, and that you need a little time to right yourself.  You are not alone.  No matter how embarrassed or pathetic you feel about your own situation, there are others out there experiencing the same emotions.  When you hear yourself say, “I am all alone,” it is your mind trying to sell you a lie.

Pay less attention to other people’s opinions of you: The truth is that what people say and do to you is much more about them, than you.  People’s reactions to you are about their perspectives, wounds and experiences.  Whether someone thinks you’re amazing, or believes you’re terrible, again, is more about them.  I am not suggesting we should be narcissists and ignore all feedback, but I am saying that too much hurt, disappointment and sadness in our lives comes from taking things personally.  In most cases it’s far more productive and healthy to let go of other people’s good or bad opinions of you, and to operate with your own intuition and wisdom as your guide.

Embrace the new, stronger version of YOU: You are not who you used to be, and that’s okay.  You’ve been hurt; you’ve gone through numerous ups and downs that have made you who you are today.  Over the years, so many things have happened – things that have changed your perspective, taught you lessons, and forced your spirit to grow.  As time passes, nobody stays the same, but some people will still tell you that you have changed.  Respond to them by saying, “Of course I’ve changed.  That’s what life is all about.  I’m still the same human being, just a little stronger now than I ever was before.”

Comforting thought for the week

“Out of suffering have emerged the strongest souls; the most massive characters are seared with scars.” Kahlil Gibran. Strength doesn’t come from comfort; it comes from stretching your comfort zone and overcoming all the things you once thought you couldn’t handle.  When you find yourself at your most painful points in life, you are open to the greatest positive change.

The Dalai Lama said, “Tragedy should be utilized as a source of strength.”